Documentaries such as Inside the Manosphere by Louis Theroux have brought conversations about masculinity, online extremism and young men’s wellbeing into mainstream discussion.
In mental health practice, we are seeing how rigid beliefs about masculinity can shape mental health, relationships and behaviour. It is important to approach this topic with balance and care. Masculinity itself is not harmful; but when it becomes tightly defined or tied to unhealthy expectations, it can negatively affect both the individual and those around them.
What does “toxic masculinity” actually mean?
Toxic masculinity describes a set of restrictive, unrealistic and unhelpful expectations about how men and boys should think, feel and behave. These ideas can come from society, culture, family expectations or online spaces.
Common examples include the belief that men should:
- Avoid showing vulnerability or talk about their feelings
- Prove strength through dominance or aggression
- Hide or suppress emotions such as sadness, fear or anxiety
- See relationships as competitive or based on control
From a mental health perspective, these expectations can limit emotional development, reduce resilience and restrict someone’s ability to cope with everyday challenges. Over time, this may contribute to:
- Anxiety or low mood
- Anger or irritability
- Pulling away from others
- Difficulties establishing or maintaining relationships
It is important to emphasise that healthy masculinity is flexible, diverse and grounded in qualities such as:
- Empathy
- Respect for others
- Responsibility
- Emotional awareness
What are the common causes and triggers of toxic masculinity?
1. Social change and identity
Changing social expectations around gender can create uncertainty, particularly for young men who may be trying to understand their role or identity. Simplified or rigid narratives can feel reassuring because they offer clear answers.
2. Online influence
Social media platforms and algorithms often amplify emotionally charged or controversial content, which can increase exposure to extreme or one-sided viewpoints.
Over time, this can create echo chambers — online spaces where someone mainly sees content that matches their existing views. This makes it harder to hear balanced opinions and easier for rigid, unhelpful beliefs about masculinity to become reinforced.
3. Loneliness and disconnection
Research and clinical experience suggest that men are often less likely to seek emotional support or talk openly about their feelings. This can lead to isolation, making individuals more vulnerable to communities that offer a sense of belonging, even if those communities promote harmful ideas.
4. Growing up and identity
Teenagers and young adults are in an important development stage where they are still figuring out who they are. Repeated exposure to rigid ideas about masculinity during this time can have a lasting impact on self-esteem, how they relate to others and how they cope.
How to spot concerning signs
Not all strong opinions are problematic. However, certain changes in thoughts, behaviour or emotions may indicate that someone is struggling or becoming influenced by harmful beliefs.
In thoughts and attitudes
- Increasingly rigid or black-and-white views about gender roles
- Anger or resentment towards women or other groups
- Seeing emotional expression as weakness
- Blaming others for personal challenges or setbacks
In behaviour
- Spending long periods engaging with online content that promotes extreme views
- Withdrawing from family, friends or activities
- Using harsh, derogatory, dismissive or dehumanising language
- Becoming more argumentative, controlling or aggressive
In emotional wellbeing
- Frequent anger, frustration or irritability
- Low self-esteem hidden behind confidence or bravado
- Difficulty coping with rejection or disappointment
These signs often come from emotional pain or stress, not from problematic attitudes. Compassionate support and understanding are key.
What to do if you’re concerned
1. Start with open, non‑judgemental conversations
Create a safe environment where the person feels able to talk without being criticised. Gentle, curious questions often lead to more meaningful reflection than confrontation.
For help with knowing how to better listen in conversations about mental health, take a look at this resource.
2. Encourage emotional awareness
Support them to recognise and name their emotions. This may involve helping them to understand that experiencing vulnerability is a normal and healthy part of being human.
3. Promote balanced perspectives
Exposure to positive role models and a range of healthy, respectful examples of masculinity can help broaden their understanding and challenge rigid narratives.
4. Support connection and belonging
Encourage involvement in hobbies, social groups or supportive communities. Strong connections can reduce loneliness and improve self‑esteem.
5. Consider professional support
If concerns continue or begin to affect daily life, relationships or mental health, professional support can help. Therapies can explore underlying emotions, build healthier coping strategies and support more positive ways of relating to others.
6. Encourage healthy masculinity
Supporting healthy masculinity includes helping someone to:
- Express a full range of emotions
- Show empathy, respect and kindness
- Build resilience with self-awareness
- Feeling comfortable asking for help when needed
These qualities are linked to better mental health and stronger, more positive relationships.
This guide has been reviewed by Matt Gill – Regional Director of Psychology (North)
Matt is a Consultant Forensic Psychologist with extensive experience in forensic services, risk assessment, and developing innovative psychology practice.