People may find themselves struggling during the festive period, especially if they feel like they have nobody to share it with. Christmas is a time of high pressure anxiety and stress. It can be a time of great sadness, despair and loneliness. Individuals who have limited social circles can feel worthless, helpless and inevitably can become depressed.
Our Occupational Therapist at Cygnet Hospital Derby, Stacey Chishiri, has offered some valuable advice for anybody who may find themselves in that situation.
Spending Christmas alone is quite familiar to me as I live alone. I have been in foster care since I was 14 years old and Christmas is always a reminder to me of what I missed out on as a child. Then during the pandemic, I spent Christmas alone and have realised what works well for me to cope in that situation. Spending the time alone can bring feelings of worthlessness, however with the right adaptations there are ways to not feel this way.
My advice to anybody who is spending Christmas on their own would be:
- Keep in touch online. Even if you can’t be in the same place as your loved ones, with technology these days, there’s no reason why you still can’t spend time together on Zoom or Skype.
- Communicate with your friends – be open and honest about how you are feeling. Friends can be family too and they can offer support, particularly if you feel like you have nobody to spend time with. They might not realise you are struggling and by opening up, you give them the opportunity to extend invitations.
- Create your own perfect Christmas – even if your Christmas might not resemble the typical day for everybody else, do what feels right to you. That might be cooking yourself the turkey dinner with all the trimmings or it might be cooking your favourite meal or simply getting in your favourite snacks and curling up on the sofa with a film or a book. Do what makes you feel happiest on the day. In other words, enjoy not having the pressure of entertaining others!
- Start a new hobby – for me, this has recently been knitting. It is something I enjoy and it gives me a good focus. I also enjoy journaling. Writing down my thoughts, whether positive or negative, helps me to process my emotions.
- I am a big believer in self-care and it is essential we treat ourselves at Christmas. It does not have to be lavish just a treat. Remember a treat can be your own company, silence, a chocolate bar, a book, film, a bath, nice music, a comfy sofa and cosy home. Or it might be going for a walk to appreciate nature and the outdoors.
- If you would like company then check out the charitable organisations who provide get together meals for those living alone or who need support. Volunteering for a cause you feel passionate about and supporting people less fortunate than yourself is an incredibly rewarding experience and one that can help you appreciate the positives in your life. It helps you connect with others and do something good, which can also make you feel good in the process.
- As a Christian, I enjoy listening to sermons and positive affirmations. They put me in the right mindset and help me to appreciate the good things I have. If you are a church goer then check out what the local parish have planned.
- Remember that even though people all over the world are having parties, get togethers, etc. this does not mean they are having a great time as no doubt many will be under pressure to be the perfect host, guest and present giver. Being alone in your company can be the best gift.