Understanding the impact
Every death by suicide is a tragedy that devastates families, friends and communities across the UK.
However, there is hope. With the right knowledge and approach, loved ones can play a crucial role in suicide prevention. Understanding how to recognise warning signs, communicate effectively, and provide meaningful support can genuinely save lives.
If you’re concerned about someone, trust your instincts. It’s better to reach out and be wrong than remain silent and regret it later. This guide provides practical, evidence-based advice on how to help.
Recognising warning signs
Emotional and behavioural changes
Learning to identify the warning signs of suicide can be life-saving. Look out for:
Changes in behaviour:
- Changes to eating or sleeping patterns
- Withdrawing from family, friends, and usual activities
- Sudden decline in personal care or hygiene
- Giving away cherished possessions without explanation
Verbal indicators:
- Direct statements like “I want to die” or “I can’t go on”
- Saying goodbye as if they won’t see people again
- Expressing feelings of being a burden to others
- Talking about feeling trapped or hopeless
- Discussing death, dying, or violence frequently
Concerning behaviours:
- Stockpiling medication or researching methods of self-harm
- Increased use of alcohol or drugs
- Reckless or self-destructive behaviour
When people are most at risk
Certain life circumstances can increase someone’s vulnerability to suicidal thoughts:
- Financial difficulties or job loss
- Relationship problems or bereavement
- Work-related stress or bullying
- Social isolation and loneliness
- Mental or physical health problems
- Major life changes
How to communicate effectively
What to say
When someone is experiencing suicidal thoughts, how you communicate can make a big difference.
Ask open-ended questions:
- “How are you feeling right now?”
- “What’s been going through your mind lately?”
- “Can you tell me more about what you’re going through?”
Be direct when necessary: It’s important to ask directly about suicidal thoughts. Research consistently shows that discussing suicide openly does not increase risk – in fact, it often provides relief and reduces the likelihood of someone acting on these feelings.
Try asking:
- “Are you having thoughts about ending your life?”
- “Do you feel like life isn’t worth living?”
- “Have you been thinking about suicide?”
What to do and avoid
Do:
- Take every mention of suicide seriously, even if it seems casual
- Listen without trying to immediately fix things
- Validate their feelings: “This sounds incredibly difficult”
- Stay calm, even if you feel frightened or shocked, and give them your full attention
- Let them know you care about them
Avoid:
- Dismissive responses like “You have so much to live for”
- Quick fixes: “Just think positive thoughts”
- Making them feel guilty: “Think about your family”
- Leaving them alone if you’re concerned about immediate risk
- Promising to keep secrets about plans to self-harm
Encouraging professional support
Many people resist seeking help due to stigma, fear of hospitalisation, or previous bad experiences. You can help by:
- Reassuring them that seeking help shows strength
- Offering to accompany them to appointments
- Helping them find their GP’s contact details
- Writing down questions for healthcare professionals
- Helping organise important documents and medical records
Providing practical support
Sometimes the most meaningful help is practical:
Daily life assistance:
- Help with shopping, cooking, or cleaning
- Childcare or pet care support
- Assistance with appointments and paperwork
Emotional availability:
- Regular check-ins via phone or text
- Spending time together doing gentle activities
- Being present without expecting conversation
Supporting treatment
If your loved one is receiving professional treatment:
- Encourage consistency with prescribed medication
- Help them remember appointments
- Support attendance at therapy sessions
- Never encourage stopping medication without medical supervision
- Help monitor side effects
Encourage healthy habits:
- Regular sleep and meals
- Gentle exercise or outdoor activities
- Limiting alcohol and avoiding recreational drugs
Crisis intervention
Call 999 immediately if:
- Someone has a specific plan to end their life
- They have access to means of self-harm and express immediate intent
- They’re saying final goodbyes
- Their behaviour suggests imminent danger
What to do in a crisis:
- Stay with them – Don’t leave them alone
- Remove dangerous items – Medications, sharp objects
- Call for help – 999 for emergency services
- Stay calm – Your composure can help
- Keep talking – Continue supportive conversation until help arrives
Looking after yourself
Supporting someone with suicidal thoughts is emotionally demanding. Protect your own wellbeing by:
- Maintaining your sleep, eating, and exercise routines
- Taking regular breaks from caregiving
- Continuing activities you enjoy
- Talking to trusted friends or family about your concerns
- Seeking professional support if you’re struggling
Remember: you cannot singlehandedly prevent suicide, and that’s not your responsibility.
Get help now
24/7 Crisis Support
- Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)
- Crisis Text Line: Text SHOUT to 85258
- NHS 111: For urgent but non-emergency health advice
Online Resources
- Samaritans: www.samaritans.org
- Mind: www.mind.org.uk
- CALM: www.thecalmzone.net
- Papyrus (under 35s): www.papyrus-uk.org
